In saunters Nakamoto:
"Today I'm here to announce, as the creator of Bitcoin, that I will be moving the coins that have existed from shortly after the Genesis Block and before releasing the code to the miners."
Murmurs in the crowd are noticeably loud...
"I will be distributing those coins, and simplified wallets that I have created in my time away from Bitcoin, to anyone and everyone who comes forward to claim them. The distribution of those wallets and coins will be done electronically, where possible, and through a newly formed partnership with the Bill Gates Foundation, physically to those who lack the resources to download the software. Those coins will come with a free, simplified, Trezor-like device. Details of this distribution will be available at https://bitcoin.org, shortly."
"It is my sincerest hope that through my generosity, and the generosity of my partners in this endeavor, that we can truly awaken all of the possibilities Bitcoin has for the world and it's citizens."
Throws the microphone down on the stage and walks off.
A guy can dream.