Just had a vasectomy


#1

If you want to hear a good story, check out my Reddit post about my recent vasectomy.


Testicles - Community Health Announcement and the China
#2

Great story! I hope you don’t mind, but it made me laugh a few times. I’ve had more than my fair share of dealing with doctors, so I can appreciate your angst.

My neurologist is at a teaching hospital, so every time I go in for an appointment I feel like some sort of freak show that the students are studying. I usually have about 5-6 people in the room. At least I am not naked and spread eagle with needles near my poke and his two friends. But, if I can help make them better doctors, I will deal with the awkwardness.


#3

LOL this need to go in the testicle thread


#4

I had mine done but it wasn’t near that bad. I was told to breathe and when I didn’t, the nurse poked me in my side when my eyes were closed.


#5

The fear multiplied my pain. I can’t handle stuff like that. I get nauseous very easily. Giving blood is a big hassle for me.


#6

Done.


#7

My god that was hilarious


#8

I only got one shot. And like you said it did feel like the Evil Doctor stuck the needle in way too deep. My vasectomy was the closest to actual agony I’ve ever come. I’ve spent hundreds of hours in the dentist’s chair, so I wasn’t a bit worried. As soon as Evil Doctor walked into the room I started worrying a lot, because without a word of warning he yanked my nut sack as hard as he could, it felt like. I still think I didn’t get enough anesthesia.

My whole package turned black the next day and that lasted for days.

Your report was funny, and so true. I actually wept a few tears when I hugged my wife afterward. My wife’s brother, when he had his vasectomy, jumped off the table and then passed out when he got the needle.

Mine was done near the Mexican border so maybe that’s why it was so rough.


#9

Dude, if you can find the time or inclination, you should write more. So funny.

And like ■■■■ am I getting my nuts cut. The girlfriend suggested, a mate said “it wasn’t that bad” and I was almost convinced, at one point.

Not a bloody chance now lol :smiley: :cold_sweat:


#10

Thanks man. If I ever do start up a blog again (I tried long ago, couldn’t keep up with it, but now with a kid, I could have lots of stories http://thebeardedmann.blogspot.com/2009/09/and-we-didnt-even-get-our-money-back.html) I will make all of you GHers read it! :thumbsup:


#11

Here is a good analogy of why you should (hope you like guns):

Remember how much fun it was to shoot a loaded gun as an adult? Great experience. You felt like an adult with a sense of accomplishment. Felt a rush. Felt powerful.

Remember how much fun it was to shoot a cap gun as a kid? Awesome! You could run around the house shooting anytime you wanted. Shoot wherever you want. Shoot whenever you want. They’re blanks!!


#12

I like the analogy, and I can see the benefits of thinking like that :slight_smile:

However:

Last year I had a second round of major surgery, and I woke up in agony. A nurse came and put the morphine clicker in my hand and told me to just click when I needed to, so I did, frequently. That was midday, Monday.

5am Tuesday morning, I still wasn’t asleep, and I was sat on the edge of the bed, as I had been for about 16 hours. I was in agony, and it didn’t matter how much beautiful morphine I forced into my veins, I couldn’t rest my back against anything, I couldn’t lay on my side, I couldn’t lay on my front.

So they came back, changed my canula and put me on a new clicker, loaded up with both morphine and ketamine (yup, fucking horse tranquilizer) and told me to click away to my hearts content.

It was lung surgery btw, so I had a dirty great tube stuck through my chest wall and a deflated lung). Just to give you a hint of the logistics of moving, anywhere.

By midday hey were perplexed, because I still wasn’t asleep. Yup, 24 hours awake post surgery, on morphine the whole time and ketamine too for 7 hours.

A pretty little nurse sat next to me, rubbed my back, and asked “do you take any drugs?”

“Are you asking if I’m a junkie?”

“well…erm…kinda…erm…yeah”

“No.”

“So how come you’re still awake?”

“Because I’m in agony”

“But you’ve got so much pain relief being pumped in, we can’t up it any more. Besides, you don’t look like you’re in agony.”

“That’s because I’m higher than I’ve ever been in my entire life. Still in ■■■■■■■ agony though.”

By Thursday morning I’d had a gutfull, called my mate, told him to pick me up.

I told them that if they didn’t take the drain out there and then, I’d go home with it and get it removed later in my local hospital. They obliged.

Anyway, sorry for taking up such a huge chunk of space on your thread, but I just wanted to give some context to the following response to your suggestion:

I’d rather go through the hell of major lung surgery again than let a dr start pulling my bits about and touching them with a scalpel :smiley:


#13

Hell if you just wanted a vasectomy, you could have asked and we would have obliged. Someone from here could have held you down on my kitchen table with two others holding your legs. It would have been simple and only hurt for a few moments as the sharpened hedge clippers took care of that pesky issue for you.

Sorry, but I couldn’t resist :smile:


#14

welcome to the club. I had mine a couple of months ago…weeks before wife delivered our third one