Microsoft error message


“There has been a problem checking for problem solutions. The problem of problem checking for problem solutions has been added to the list of problems to check for solutions to.”

—Real error message received this morning—




Unable to connect to the internet. Do you want to search for a solution to this problem online?


When I call my cable company because the net is down, the first question I get asked after verifying my account is, “Have you searched our online FAQ for an answer to your problem?”





Yes - that’s a classic that I’ve gotten once or twice back in the day… :slight_smile: Made it very hard to run headless unless you could figure out how to shut off keyboard errors in the BIOS. It wasn’t available in all of them.


Here is good story from “back in the days” when I was working for CompuTech in Munich in a pretty big project, the merger of two major Banks. At that time I was working in project management as an assistant and also in tech support for “end users”. The company had different support plans which were billed differently.

Basic support which was free as part of the contracts the bank had with CompuTech. Silver support which basically meant there was an issue and a real tech (someone like @AnimoEsto) was “instantly” needed to take the call and help out. This was usually network admin to network admin and such stuff.

And then there was the gold support. If someone from either of the banks called in opening a gold level support issue it basically meant the senior tech staff dropped everything to get on the line with their counter-part at either of the banks and if required techs “at the site” in under an hour. Opening a gold support case was billed at 2,500 DEM (€1,250) at that time.

So this bank manager guy calls going all crazy about having a blue screen on his precious ThinkPad and he wasn’t to friendly either but rather loud so I had a bit of an issue understanding what he was talking about. He kept going on about “error code blabla”, press any key, do this and that and every time I tried to calm him down to get to the core of his problem he’d blast out again. Basically he wouldn’t listen so it was hard to ask questions.

He keeps going on and then shouts “I’m demanding that you open a gold case”. So I’m like "Excuse me Sir…him shouting blablaexcuse me, I need your name to see if you’re on the authorization list to open a gold case. He goes all mad telling me “do you know who the …f… you’re talking with?” and I’m like “no Sir that’s why I was asking for your name”.

He shouts at me again still not giving me his name while insisting that I would jump from a support call straight to opening a top level support issue. Again I kindly asked him for his name and one of the senior tech’s plugged into my line to listen in as well.

Guy throws a name at me, I bring up the authorization list and of course his name is not on there. So I tell him and that I would require authorization from the person who seemed to be that guys department manager. He ignores me and goes all on about the blue screen again, why it is all in English, the any key and how this was all bullshit. Anyway, I still had problems understanding the guy but the senior tech looked at me with a big smile and said “I got it, patch him through I’ll sort it out”.

So I did and in return plugged into his line to listen in. Senior tech raises his own voice and says “Excuse me Mr… this is …, I’m senior network administrator at CompuTech, May I ask you, are you saying you can’t find the “any key” key? It’s the key to the left of the 1 key on your keyboard.”

At that point pretty much half the support staff around us fell of their chairs laughing including myself. :slight_smile:


There are still machines in this world that prompt you to press F1 when the keyboard isn’t detected. Brand new ones. :frowning:

After 25 years in IT, I have so many horror stories. Here’s one of my favorites:

Several years ago, I was hanging out helping the help desk with some day-to-day stuff. We get a call about a guy who can’t log in. He’s already heated up, won’t talk to the operator, just demanding over and over that we send our “most senior person, none of this new-guy ■■■■”. I head to his office, and he immediately start in on me, telling me how important he is, how he’s been writing code for 35 years, basically how he’s God’s gift to computers, so his problem is obviously something wrong on our side. After a few minutes, he blows off enough steam that I can get him to try logging in again. He tries, it fails. I reached over, hit the caps lock key, and asked him to try again. As his machine is logging in, he turns to me with a look of shock on his face. I just smiled at him, said “35 years, huh?”, and took off.


Haha epic. Don’t you love those?


So many good customer service type cartoons out there…